15 Popular American Wedding Traditions

So you’re engaged, congratulations! Now comes the exciting (and sometimes overwhelming) task of planning your wedding. But before you dive deep into Pinterest boards and caterer comparisons, let’s take a moment and explore historical American wedding traditions. From the meaning of the first kiss to jumping the broom to the honeymoon, these traditions add a layer of meaning and history to your wedding day. We will explore the evolution of American wedding traditions, how they’ve changed over time, and how you can incorporate them (or ditch them) to create the wedding that reflects your love story.

1: The Bride and Groom not seeing each other before the ceremony

The tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding ceremony goes back to the time of arranged marriages, before the 18th century. During this era love matches were not the norm. Marriages were often created through alliances between families. There was also a concern that if the groom saw the bride-to-be before the wedding and didn’t find her attractive he would call off the wedding. This would bring embarrassment to both families. To prevent this from happening the bride’s family would keep her hidden until the ceremony to ensure the groom wouldn’t back out of the arranged agreement.

As time went on, the superstition of it being bad luck to see each other before the ceremony developed alongside the tradition.

Today, many couples still choose to follow this aged old tradition. But every year more and more couples are ditching this tradition in favor of a “first look”, where the couple sees each other before the ceremony. During this time they usually share their private vows or use it as a time to settle their nerves.

Related: Wedding Day Timelines

2: White wedding dress

The tradition of wearing a white (or off white) wedding dress is actually a relatively new tradition. Brides throughout history have worn a variety of colors for their weddings. The tradition of brides wearing a white wedding gown didn’t actually begin until the 19th century when Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in a white lace gown. Her wedding was one the first widely photographed royal events, and the photos of her in this, very noticeable gown, captured the public’s attention. However, it wasn’t until the mid-20th century, thanks to the rise of mass media, fashion magazines, and Hollywood films, when white wedding gowns became the standard choice for brides.

The bride’s father gives her to the groom

The giving away of the bride by her father dates back thousands of years ago, when women were considered property. The woman’s father had the authority to decide who she would marry. The act of “giving the bride away” marked the transfer of ownership from the woman’s father to her husband.

Although this archaic view of women as property no longer exist, the tradition is still very much alive. Today, it’s a symbol where the father expresses his love and support for his daughter as she begins a new chapter in her life. It is also a way to acknowledge the uniting of two families. Many couples choose to modernize the ancient tradition by having both parents, stepparents, or other significant figures walk the bride down the aisle and “give her away”. Some brides even decide to ditch their parents altogether and walk solo or with their partner down the aisle.

4. The veil

The tradition of wearing a wedding veil dates back to ancient Rome. Originally, the purpose of the veil was to ward off evil spirits who might try to disrupt the wedding ceremony. The idea was if the bride’s face was covered it would confuse the spirits and protect the couple’s happiness. Throughout history the veil also became a symbol of modesty, purity, and innocence.

Ironically, the image of the white wedding dress and veil we associate with modern weddings can be attributed to Queen Victoria’s wedding in 1840.

5. The first kiss

Where the tradition of the first kiss originated isn’t really known, however there are a few theories:

• Many believe that the first kiss is a symbol of the union of two souls. This belief comes from the bible verse, “the two shall become one flesh.”

• In Ancient Roman times the kiss was used to seal contracts. The first kiss, in this context, would signify the sealing of the marriage contract.

• Another theory derives from the Catholic wedding ceremony, where the priest would give the groom a “kiss of peace,” which was then passed to the bride.

Although the first kiss origin is not quite known, it has become a universal symbol of love, commitment, and the beginning of a new life together.

6. The first dance

During the 17th century the first dance was a custom in formal balls where the guests of honor would dance to open the dance floor for others to join. As wedding receptions evolved, the bride and groom became the guests of honor and the first dance became part of the wedding reception. Sometime during the 19th century the focus shifted to the couple, with the first dance becoming a more intimate and romantic moment.

The first dance can be whatever you want it to be. Couples have become very creative with how they carry out the first dance. Although, many have stuck to the traditional first dances, others will hire a dance instructor to help them create a more unique first dance. And then, there are the couples who invite both sets of parents to join them on the dance floor for the first dance.

7. Something old, something blue, something borrowed

Like many wedding traditions, this tradition originated in England during the Victorian era. It was believed that these items would bring good luck and happiness to the marriage. Something old represents a connection to the past. It’s often a family heirloom or a piece of vintage jewelry. Something blue symbolizes purity, love, and fidelity and is believed to bring good luck to the bride. Brides tend to incorporate the color blue into their garter, wedding shoes, a ring, or a ribbon or flower in the bouquet. Something borrowed represents borrowed happiness from a loved one, typically a happily married friend or relative.

8. The wedding cake

Wedding cakes have involved tremendously throughout history. Evolving from symbolic rituals to the decadent desserts we all know and love today.

In the Roman and Greek cultures breaking bread together symbolized shared fortunes and unity. In medieval Europe, honey cakes were typically served at weddings symbolizing sweetness and fertility. In England, during the 17th century large stacked displays of pastries became popular wedding displays. They were more for display rather than for the guests to enjoy. During the 18th century, the wedding cake began to take the form of the modern wedding cakes, with multiple tiers and design elements. Like everything during the Victorian Era, wedding cakes became more opulence, often featuring intricate sugar decorations and multiple tiers.

The modern wedding cake, as we know it today, is the centerpiece of the reception, symbolizing abundance and prosperity. Today couples have become creative with their wedding centerpiece dessert choices. Tiered wedding cakes are a long standing wedding tradition but couples are venturing out and trying other wedding desserts. Some people just don’t like cake, so why spend a bunch of money on something you don’t even get to enjoy. Donut cakes, cookie cakes, or an assortment of other desserts are all yummy options if cake isn’t your thing.

9. The best man

Historically, when a man could “claim” a bride against her family’s wishes, the best man was essentially the groom’s bodyguard. He would stand by his side, sword drawn, ready to protect the couple from the bride’s angry family.

Today the best man, thankfully, doesn’t have to act as a bodyguard and protect the groom, however he does still play a significant role in the wedding. The best man is there to support the groom, organize tasks, gives speeches at the reception, and to carry the rings. Basically, the best man is the groom’s right hand-man, ensuring that the wedding day runs smoothy and that the groom enjoys his special day.

10. The wedding party

Another tradition rooted in ancient Rome. Roman law required ten witnesses (five bridesmaids and five groomsmen) to be in attendance at a wedding for it to be legally binding. The wedding attire the bridesmaids wore was just as important. Like the bride’s veil, bridesmaids wore matching dress to confuse evil spirits or jealous rivals.

Overtime the wedding party roles transitioned from protecting the the couple from evil spirits, to supportive friends and helpers. They help with with bridal showers, the bachelorette party, and ensure the bride has everything she needs on her wedding day.

11. The engagement ring

The tradition of giving an engagement ring can be traced back to 13th-century Rome. Christians adopted the tradition after Pope Innocent III declared a mandatory waiting period between the betrothal (engagement) and marriage. The early rings were made of iron and later gold. The ring was placed on the left ring finger because the Greeks and Romans believed there was a special vein that ran directly from the ring finger to the heart.

Archduke Maximillian of Austria was the first man to introduce the diamond ring as an engagement ring when he proposed to his bride-to-be in 1477. However, diamond rings did not become popular amongst common people until the 1930s when there was a marketing push for diamonds out of Africa.

Today, engagement and wedding rings still symbolize commitment, love and devotion. Engagement rings have become staples in the tradition of proposing marriage.

12. The honeymoon

The term “honeymoon” comes from the medieval time when guests would give the newly married couple a month’s worth (one moon cycle) of fermented honey. The bride and groom were expected to drink the alcoholic drink for 30 days to improve fertility and the likelihood of conception. The phrase means a moon’s worth of honey wine.

Today, couples embrace the honeymoon tradition, which usually refers to a vacation the couple takes right after their wedding. The destination and duration of the honeymoon is strictly up to the newlyweds. The only purpose of the honeymoon is to celebrate the couple’s marriage.

13. Bridal Showers

Historians believe bridal showers began as an alternative to the dowry system. If the bride’s family couldn’t afford their daughter’s dowry or if the father didn’t approve of the of the groom, the townspeople would “shower” her with small gifts to support her becoming a wife and to help with her dowry. By the 1830s to early 1900s, wealthy Americans were using “bridal showers” as an excuse to throw lavish parties and gossip about the couple.

Modern day bridal showers have become an essential part of the wedding process for the bride. Instead of being given by friends and family to raise money for a dowry, bridal showers are now hosted by the bride’s closest family or friends. Bridal showers are fun events that include activities, games, and sometimes other adult entertainment. The main goal is to celebrate the bride-to-be and show their support for the marriage.

14. Listing the bride’s name first on wedding stationary

In the past it was customary for the bride’s parents to host the wedding. Because of this their names would appear first on the invitation, followed by the couple’s names. In this context the bride’s name would naturally come before the groom’s name.

While societal norms have changed, remnants of past societal norms can still be seen in modern wedding traditions. This includes the bride’s name being listed before the groom’s name on the wedding stationary. Today, we aren’t confined to abiding by strict wedding traditions. Many couples choose to list their names alphabetically or put the groom’s name first. Ultimately, the decision is up to you about how you would like to list your names.

15. Jumping the broom

Although “jumping the broom” has a few origin stories, the one that is widely recognized is the tradition created by enslaved African Americans. Slaves were not allowed to marry legally, so they adopted the ritual of jumping the broom as a symbol of their union and an outward act of defiance and hope.

Although this tradition was born from slavery it is a tradition that many African American couples incorporate into their wedding ceremonies today. The jumping of the broom at the end of the ceremony is the couples way of paying homage to the ancestors who had to hide their marriages. It’s a symbol of love, commitment, and unity.

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